Darian Trotter ABC26 News

9:28 p.m. CST, November 24, 2010
NEW ORLEANS—

Thanksgiving dinner and family time were on the minds of many Wednesday.

The holiday is supposed to be a time for fellowship and fun; but that is not always so.

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      Sometimes, stress and tension take over. Add alcohol and it can be a recipe for disaster.

"I know exactly what you're talking about," says Dedra Bright.

    Dedra Bright says families should try hard to get along. 

"When you feel something is going on and you can't handle it, walk away. Don’t stay there and fuel it, and fuel it, and fuel it. Walk away from it," Bright says.

"Every family has their argument. I’ve walked out on dinner before. I’ve gotten angry with my brothers," says Kathy McLin.

    A recent study shows an increase in domestic violence calls during holidays.

    A 22-percent increase on thanksgiving, 17-percent on Christmas, and a 32-percent spike on New Year’s Eve.

    The results are no surprise to Deanne Bowman.

    She works with victims of domestic abuse.

""Often times seeing someone can trigger events or something that happened that can make you go to a place that isn't safe," says Bowman.

     Bowman recommends key ways to keep the peace; like don't ask the unemployed if they've found a job yet.

     And avoid discussing sex or religion.

     Steer clear of topics that force guests to discuss anything personal or topics that may put them on the defensive; or inspire a heated argument.

"It's not for that,” says Bright. “It's a time of peace a time of getting together and loving each other and embrace the fact that you have a family."

     Police are often called to family gatherings when ex-spouses are brought face to face with new companions; and when sibling rivalries flare up. Then there are the in-laws.

    Kathy McLin says arguing is not worth it.

"My brother died two years ago he'll never spend another thanksgiving. I’m glad I told him I love him," says McLin.

 

If you are in an abusive situation and need help you are urged to call

'Project save'.  The number is (504) 310-6872.