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Grotesque, bloated and debauched, slouched on his throne of power like a corrupt Roman emperor, humorist Jean Shepherd's vision of the classic department store Santa Claus, as directed by Bob Clark, is the stuff of nightmares. There is nothing elfin about this decidedly unmagical stand-in for the real Kris Kringle. But as young Ralphie knows all too well, there's no substituting the real thing.

'A Christmas Story' (1983) -- Worst

( Turner )

Grotesque, bloated and debauched, slouched on his throne of power like a corrupt Roman emperor, humorist Jean Shepherd's vision of the classic department store Santa Claus, as directed by Bob Clark, is the stuff of nightmares. There is nothing elfin about this decidedly unmagical stand-in for the real Kris Kringle. But as young Ralphie knows all too well, there's no substituting the real thing.

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